Monday, September 26, 2011

Shut Up and Enjoy It

When Jason Hanson split the uprights on Sunday, I didn't see the team rush the field nor Jim Schwartz's patented fist pump-mother effer combination. I was too busy with fist-pumps of my own. I was too busy high-fiving every thing around me with a hand. I was too busy "woo"-ing and shouting unintelligibles like I was possessed by a jubilant poltergeist. I was too busy ENJOYING IT.

By the time I had caught my breath and come down to Earth, my friends were mumbling something about the Bills and their fantasy teams, but my head was filled with so many incredible, unfamiliar thoughts that it was hard for me to focus. I sat back in my chair, exhaled and checked my computer to join in the virtual fun.

I was not pleased with what I saw.

Sure there were plenty of e-fans going crazy and taking in the moment, but it wasn't long before the hate-patrol stormed in and tried to rain, sleet, hail and piss on our parade. It might not have been much, but in-between every "Holy Crap!" or "'Lions 3-0' is trending on twitter!" tweet and IM there was the intermittent "Jeff Backus is terrible", "We may be 3-0, but we have no o-line or running game". I get it, Backus Haters. It's the one week a year in which your favorite argument actually has some merit to it. Enjoy it, but stay the hell away from me.

Then the "professionals" started at it. Always first in line for a fresh warm glass of Hateraide, Rob Parker and his stupid face had to butt in:
You know what's sad, Rob Parker? When an ESPN "analyst" (yeah, I just double-ironically quotation-marked you) goes out of his way to insult the fan-base that ran his extremely unprofessional ass out of town. What's sad is someone who has so little joy in their life that they have to squash the happy moments of others to try and offset those lonely nights spent crying in mirrors.

The Lions are 3-0 for the first time in my existence and I want to celebrate, damnit. And if someone wants to throw a freakin parade, I'll march in front as the drum major. I've spent so many years as the statue that I'm going to revel in my days as the pigeon, even if they're numbered (which they aren't).

That being said, I'm glad that the players are taking the "play like you've been there before" attitude. They're not paid to go 3-0, they're paid to go to the playoffs. They're paid to go to Super Bowls. If they started throwing parades, it would be panned by everyone, become a distraction, and likely hurt the team.

But my pathology and mindset will have no affect on the team. I'm not getting paid to win. In fact, I have spent a lot of money supporting this team. So, excuse me, if I decide to spend a couple happy hours when my investment finally starts to pay off. When your team has just completed a 20-point comeback in a venue they haven't won at since 1997 to become 3-0 for the first time in 30 years, it's not pathetic to scream, yell, TYPE IN CAPS, or even over-punctuate!!!1! It's sad that some people can't stop and enjoy those moments because they're too busy criticizing others.


  1. The Lions are one of 4 currently undefeated teams in the NFL. Why would that not be celebration-worthy? Rob Parker is just bitter.

  2. Thank you for this, as it helped me vent. Rob Parker can say what he wants, I'm not listening or reading. How bout them LIONS!